20 Days Project Begins

Most of the time I don't like myself, in fact I loathe myself sometimes, and I really am sick and tired of that feeling. I'm seeing a psychiatrist for ADD & depression and am taking medications. But lately I stopped going to my counselor because I he wanted me to set some goals. Like 4 or 5 at a time. And even though the goals didn't seem all that hard - together it did seem hard. I would set them, but I wouldn't follow through and really work on them. So I'd feel guilty and just give up.

So, I've decided to take it one day at a time...kind of. Actually 20 days at a time. When I look at the things that I'd like to improve in my life, it all seems too much. Lose weight, finish school, write a book, get married, get active in my church again, etc. To reach some of these goals I will need to take a couple of steps...but most seem like I need to take a couple of steps just to get to the place where it will take a couple of steps. There's a whole damn staircase to climb, and that is very daunting.

So here is what I've decided to do. Since a whole lot of goals was too much, I will set one goal and work on that one goal for 20 days. I settled on 20 days because it's enough to set it into a habit, but not too long. This way in 2010 I'll be able to change at least 18 things in my life that I don't like.

I actually started a little less than a month ago. I had just been to the dentist and it hurt like heck. I didn't understand because I floss & brush my teeth every morning in the shower. But I wouldn't brush at night. So for the last 3 weeks or so, I've been brushing my teeth at night as well. Every single night.

I've already started on my second 20 days goal. I will not eat any candy for 20 days. Now this doesn't seem like all that much, but I tell you that it is. At times within the last year I would take a 5 oz bar of chocolate to bed and just eat it in about a half hour. I would do this 3 or 4 times a week. That is lot of sugar & fat that I didn't need.

Now let's talk about what will happen after the end of the 20 days. Some things I will continue to do - like my first 20-day goal. Hopefully it's a habit that I'll keep going and I'll have lots better oral hygeine. Some 20-day goals I'll modify a bit after the 20 days are up. Like this 2nd goal. I'm not going to stop eating candy forever. Instead I'll change it it to maybe only 1 piece of candy a day, or so many a week etc.

Well I'm on day 3 of no candy, and it actually isn't that hard. I'll keep you posted on how it goes. walt