Another night in Paradise!

Ok - the weekend didn't go so well.  I did fine until Saturday and then I had like a six pack of the 16.9oz bottles of Dr. Pepper over the weekend.  It was like I had a binge drinking session.  It's a very good thing that I do not drink alcohol.  I'm sure I'd be an alcoholic already.  Monday, Tues & Wed. went fine though.  No more pop and not really any craving for it, except tonight when I sat my Dad drinking a Dr. Pepper at dinner.  bye

Work & Headache Free

Well I haven't had a headache after yesterday morning.  I haven't really been tempted for caffeine either.  Today I worked pretty hard throwing the frozen load at Albertson's.  I also worked a whole lot of back stock with a co-worker Amanda.  I was in the freezer so many times today that my belly was still cold long after I got home and was eating dinner.

Ouch Again!

Post Caffeine Headaches Suck!!

You would think that I would've learned this lesson from all the other times.  Not being smart enough to learn from my past mistakes, I am doomed to repeat, and repeat, and repeat them.  It isn't all bad.  I didn't have to work today, so at least I can lay around and moan in private.  It's hard to be nice to people at work when I have a headache.  The last time I stopped pop this is what I said all the way back in January.

What's weird is that the caffeine headaches are usually resistant to my migraine medicine.  So it works a bit, but just reduces them down to 30% of normal or so.  About the same for other medication nsaids (ibuprofen, aspirin etc).  A cold pack on my temple or forehead as well.  Sometimes I try everything together and it still is not enough. 

So why the heck do I still keep doing it?  Let me know if you find out why.

Weekends Off

So it's almost been a week since I made a new goal with my WebMD Health Coach.  So I'm at a 72% of anti-caffeineness.  Which means that on Sat & Sunday I was jonesing for some Dr. Pepper and so I had some.  I don't really feel though that I've blown the deal though.  It was just the weekend.

Restart?

Well today I got a call from my WebMD Health Coach and during the checkup I commited to go pop-free again for a month.  Until November 3rd.  Hopefully I lose weight through it.  We'll see.

Starting Over

Okay I'm going to have to face it that I've totally given up since my last post about a month ago. I haven't really done any of my goals/habits - except maybe I've brushed my teeth a couple of times at night. When I gave up my writing goal - I gave up on all. I tried to just move onto the next goal, but I wasn't trying very hard. So I've been coasting the past couple of weeks, and not falling all the way back into the way it was before, but almost.

I'm insured through Blue Cross (of Minnesota for some reason - probably because that's where SuperValu comes from) and they have a Wellness program. I get a discount each week if I participate in the probgram and so I do. Well, I got an introductory call today and I talked about how I'd had some goals up until the beginning of March etc. So I decided (with some help from the Wellness coach) to begin again on my goals, and at least with relation to the Wellness program, to focus on weight loss. So I need some way to keep up the pressure on these weight goals even if a goal in another area slips.

I think that I'll divide my goals in four areas. In Luke 2:52 it is talking about Jesus adolescence between the time when he was twelve and talked with the doctors in the temple and by the time that he was thirty-three and started his ministry.

"And Jesus increased in Wisdom and Stature, and in Favor with God and man." or you could split the last and in "Favor with God" and "Favor with Man". So there are the four areas Wisdom = Mental, Stature = Physical, Favor with God = Spiritual, and Favor with Man = Social.

So for now I'll get those physical goals that I had before, up and running again and then I'll add 1 goal from each area after 20 days. So for the next 20 days it'll be back to the basics. Brush at night, no candy, no pop, no picking + I will restart writing 30 minutes each day. That will be my Mental goal that I'll start today as well. I'm going to do this, because I wish to be in a writing class/conference this summer and I need to get into the habit of writing each day as soon as I can.

Another reason that I'm starting over, is because I want to feel better. I feel like I'm under a lot of pressure right now. I've been floating a loan of several hundred dollars since December, and I still need to finish my business files from 2008 to do my 2008 taxes, so that I can then do my 2009 business & taxes. Then I'll get back a bunch of money, but there seems to be so much that I need to do. It's pretty overwhelming sometimes. I try to break it up into parts...like okay today I'll do this folder of stuff etc.

I also need that money to get back up on the correct level of medication that I need to be taking. At the beginning of the year, I had to reach my deductible again. So I cut way down on the meds I was taking, and stretch out others, and took older ones that I had from earlier in the year.

okay - enough for now. walt

Adventures in Driving

Today after work I decided to go down and pay a ticket for "Fail[ure] to Display Insurance." I actually have a running light out in my backlight, and that is what allowed the cop to pull me over. But when I pulled out my insurance I realized that it was the old copy of my insurance which expired back in Dec '09. So anyway - ticket. It might have cost me $116.50.

So I got off work at around 1:30pm from Alb 5Mile & Overland (which by the way is a new blog that I started for Albertsons - look at it here). There was an accident blocking the north-west corner of the intersection. It must have happened while I was just down the street, and 1 of the drivers in the turn lane the wright of me must have seen the accident, she was in the street helping the man on his back. I couldn't even tell what vehicles the accident involved. When I first got there - not event he police, fire or paramedics were there. Just 4 concerned citizens standing over a guy.

So after a long wait (during which I was pretty patient) I could go, and went downtown to deal with the ticket. Went in, took a number and was immediately directed to a window (2 - 3pm must be the ideal time to visit the courthouse) and handed over the ticket and insurance card and she was back in a couple minutes and I was out of there.

Unfortunately as I was walking out I noticed that the insurance card from Liberty Mutual that I had given them, was the old one that I had when the cop pulled me over. So I continued onto the car, and got the new one - and went back in. It's funny because the gal that copied the page etc didn't catch it either. So when I went back in I got called to the window next to the original gal and I explained what happened. "Who did you see the first time" the new gal asked and I pointed next door. So she got to razz her friend.

So I was driving on my way back home - went freeway to Eagle, and down to Colombia and got stopped at another accident just past the horse corral and before the 10-mile church. That wasn't a long wait either, but I was real patient and it wasn't long before I was past it. Again - some guy laying in the middle of the road on his back and I beat the paramedics there a 2nd time.

There was also a rollover on the freeway (on the news). Last accident was relayed to me by Dad - he said that there was one on Victory somewhere as he was coming home.

It was good to only be around accidents - not part of any. walt

This week's a wash

Unfortunately, this last goal has not gone well at all. I haven't written since Superbowl weekend. So this is the first serious problem that I've had with my set of goals. It was just hard to sit down at the end of the day and write 1/2 hr when I was already tired, or when I was supposed to go to bed. So I kind of took off the week.

The next goal will be no picking. This past year or so my skin has gotten really rough and my left ear, above the earhole, has a patch that is itchy, and so I pick at it and it gets flaky and bleeds sometimes. Then at night I have a really hard time breathing through my nose when I go to bed, and I can not stand to have my nose clogged up. So I blow, and blow, and pick etc, until I can breath through my nose to sleep. It feels like my septum is deviated again. I originally broke it when I had a 4-wheeler accident down in Utah in 2001. So those are the two things that I will not pick at, starting on the 23rd/24th(?).

Speaking of being tired, night, walt

Weekend Off?

Okay - so I really fell off the wagon this Superbowl weekend. Yesterday I wrote in my blog, and so I'm going to count that as my writing. I really only want to focus on sci/fantasy writing, but I'm going to have to count this. I didn't actually go to bed last night until, this morning at 7:36am. So it happened like this. I didn't take my night-time medication, (ie melatonin, and cyclobenzaprene) so that I could sleep. So I wasn't tired. Then I totally broke my goal of only drinking 30 oz of pop. Yesterday with dinner, I had a second glass of RC Cola. Then at about 11pm I drank the rest of the RC Cola - about 2/3rds of a 2-Liter bottle. Today I've already drunk 2 cans of Cherry Pepsi.

So I watched a bunch of stuff on hulu - I miss New Amsterdam, I also watched the movie "Gamers." It was alright, but a little weird. Yesterday on tv we watched "Johnny Mnemonic," and my dad asked wasn't that kind of a spoof movie. I told him no, but after watching it, I realized that it kind of was - just because it was not very good acting. It actually kind of reminded me of a "Matrix" warm up for him. The storyline isn't that similar, but they share some of the same ideas. Actually Gamer also has some of the same themes too.

To top it all off, I didn't brush my teeth. That's okay though, because I didn't brush my teeth when I woke up yesterday morning either. Or for that matter - this morning I brushed, but not with toothpaste.

So now I'm watching the superbowl, and I tell you what - the Betty White-Snickers commercial is the best so far. Easily.

Peace & I'm Out - walt

(commercials later)

Not too bad

Each time I sit down for my 30 minutes of writing a night, I think that it will be so long. How can I write for 30 minutes. Usually it's at the end of the night because a lot of times I don't get home until 7:30pm or so, and I like to eat and watch t.v. until 10pm. By then, of course, I'm tired already and I just want to go to bed. But I have to write - dang it.

But, it's really not to bad. Once I get started I really enjoy it, and it isn't actually such a pain. In fact it's a lot like tracting was on my mission (or on facebook). I dreaded the idea of going door to door in the domes (apartment buildings) and talking to all those people that I didn't know. However once I actually had done a couple of apartments, then I really liked it and I couldn't really remember what I was afraid of. I would kind of psych myself out of it.

That's actually been a problem since I was about 19/20 or so. One time the girl that I was dating was pretty, as well as pretty much like me. Anyway, we went once to a dance, that was down at the BSU SUB. We weren't really going to meet up with anyone, and we both had a kind of problem with anxiety. We chickened out and went somewhere else.

Alright - peace and I'm out of here. walt

20 Days of "Writing"

Alright Folks - the 20 days of no pop is over, and I had a glass of RC Cola with my lunch. It was pretty good, but I'm not going to overdo it. I've modified the that goal to not more than 30 oz of pop a week. It was really only the first two weekends that I really craved it. And by It I mean caffeine. I've been drinking lots more water, and lots of juice as well.



So on to the next 20-day goal...I'm going to write for 30 minutes a day. I've wanted to be a writer for the last 7 years or so. I've always loved reading, and I stay up on the authors that I do like. A couple of years ago I went to a writing conference put on by Orson Scott Card. It was a two day even for about 30 or so people, but 10 or so of the people got to continue for the rest of the week and did an indepth "boot camp." It was really fun. So I did the 2-day event, but I haven't been able to get into the habit of writing. Info on the writing conference is here.

Talk at you later, walt

Cold Today Gone Tomorrow!!

I'm almost over the cold. It's just past the annoying stage of the throat hurting and it's coughing. It's really not that bad, but I haven't been able to fully clear my nose for about 2 days.
Still - I'm all tired as heck and I got someone else to work my shift at Alby's for me. Night

A Cold - Booooooooooooooo!

So I came down with my Mom's cold, that she was lovingly give by my neice. Yeaaaaaah - not. Okay bye
walt

OUCH!

Okay I've had headaches and migraines for the last 2 days. Two nights ago I went to bed with a headache, and by morning it was a migraine. Yesterday I was only able to go to work by using a whole 3 ibuprofen, 3 Alieve & 2 doses of my imitrex generic. Usually a half of a pill will work, and then I can take the other half the next time that I get a migraine. I had another migraine after work (and after a nap) when I was watching TV. So over the last 2 days I've used 2 whole pills, - lot of medicine (and a lot of money). Hopefully this is the end of the caffeine withdrawal migraines.



I was really tempted last night to go and buy some Cherry Pepsi, or Dr. Pepper, or anything for that matter. That's how bad the migraine was last night. I find that when I take cold packs and use them on my forehead, or over one eye, it makes the pain less. Well I went through all 7 of my cold packs last night trying to get my migraine to go away. I'm really glad that I didn't have to work today. When I woke up I had a slight headache, but I got up, and took my regular meds (adderal, generic welbutrin & lexapro) got another ice pack and fell asleep again. I slept in until 10:30 and I feel a whole lot better.



If only I could feel the headaches every time I wanted to drink caffeine pop. Hell, if only I could feel the pain that any vice or sin brings at the time of temptation instead of later. But that is not how it works. Imagine every time that you bought a whole big bar of chocolate (that you knew that you were going to eat by the end of the night) you felt the heaviness of what your body would be when this became a habit. Or, every time you started looking at porn you would feel the whole weight of depression that would come later.



When I think about it, that was probably the weight, heaviness of sin that our savior felt in the garden of gethsemene (magnified by billions & billions of us) when he bled for us. There's a commercial for some depression medication that asks "Where does depression hurt?, or Where do you feel depression?" I've felt the weight of depression in my belly for the last 9 years as I've suffered/tried to fight against depression, anxiety etc. That's where it effects me.



Well enough complaining for today. walt

No pop it is!

Well Ladies & Gentlemen: It's final...no pop for 20 days! That's my new 20-D goal. This will be a hard one to do. I love pop. It's always been an integral part of my life.

I remember the very first mug that I got on a trip and how I used to drink Mt. Dew. So here it begins.

Unfortunately I am addicted to caffeine and so I can expect headaches for a couple of days. Ouch. It's already starting - so goodnight. walt

Next 20?

I'm always thinking about what should be the next goal that I should try for 20 days. I tried (actually a couple of times) during this past weekend to start another 20-day goal. I really need to stop drinking pop. However, I am addicted to caffeine and it is dang hard to quit. I can go about 2/3rds of the day before I break down and drink some.



Since it actually wasn't time to start a new 20DG (20-Day Goal), I don't see the weekend as a failure. It was kind of real, but not. I was kind of down though, and I almost decided to eat my candy last night. However it's bean 16 days allready - and I wouldn't want to have to start again, or admit failure. So




My poison of choice is Cherry Pepsi. I also really like Dr. Pepper, Mt. Dew & Cherry Coke as well. Time & time again I've tried to stop. The longest that I've ever gone without caffeine was near the end of my mission. I made a a new years resolution to not drink caffeinated drinks and I went about a week. It ended when I got food poisoning and my stomach was hurting so much. 7-Up helped because it helped me burp more. Finally when I drank some Dr. Pepper it deadened the pain - and that was the end of my resolution. It was actually a bet between Sister Kim Cooley & I. She had to give up chocolate.





What am I reading?: "Monday Mourning" by Kathy Reichs, "Hero of Ages" by Brandon Sanderson, & "Ford County" by John Grisham. Kathy Reichs is the author of the novels that became the idea for the TV Series Bones on Fox. Of course her, Temperance Brennan is a little different. Brandon Sanderson is the author that was chosen to complete the Wheel of Time series (which book "The Gathering Storm" recently came out and is awesome!) for the late Robert Jordan.



Alright - where do I get most of my books that I read? BOMC2 or Book of the Month Club 2. When I first started it was called Zooba.com, and was renamed last year some time. What you do is you make a list of the books that you would like to buy from BOMC2, and the same time every month, they will package up the book that is in the #1 spot on the list and send it to you - all for only $9.95 (shipping included). These books are sometimes smaller than the regular books - it is a book-club book after all, but a lot of the books are the same as what you get from regular book stores.



For Christmas I gave my mom a year of books. She just goes online and makes her list. Then they will charge me, and she'll get a new book every month.



Well, ta ta.